Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
