I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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