i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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