forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
