It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i may or may not be watching the land before time
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
