yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
