I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
