I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
