so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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