Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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