Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
