Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
