Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
