no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
no you cant smoke seaweed
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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