Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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