Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
