i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Two words: nipple clamps
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