i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
