Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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