just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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