We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
