i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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