I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
