so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Enjoy the penises
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize