the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
