I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
