Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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