Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
