I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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