just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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