I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
i now understand why vodka
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
