I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
