I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
