Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
