Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
