So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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