And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
