I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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