ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
