new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
