He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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