So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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