For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
