after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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