Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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