If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
