FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
