At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
one might say we're banned from that church
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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