I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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