3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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