he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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