His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize