yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
