can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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