1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
