$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
