I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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