With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
