Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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